If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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