none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel great
I just peed on a car
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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