Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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