This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
