Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Terrible idea I love it
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
