Non-Jews are for practice
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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