my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
