Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize