Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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