I'm jealous of your bromance
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
