Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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