I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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