I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize