You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I need water and some morals
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
