i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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