My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize