I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So. Much. Porn.
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