One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
