I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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