your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
