You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
