you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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