To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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