I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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