dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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