sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize