giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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