I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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