I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize