Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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