I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
