oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
