Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
