Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
