Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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