I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
