R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
