i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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