I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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