how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
