So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
