The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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