Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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