At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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