Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
