Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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