I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
