i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
