i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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