CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize