it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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