Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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