Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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