Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
