All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
