pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
