Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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