just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
