I love black thongs
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
