I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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